The #TruthSeries Journals ARE My Stories Of Struggles and Learning Who I Really Am
“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. The new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.”
― Stephen Russell,
In the coming days, months, years or however long it will take – I will cover and share several of my life experiences that will make me very uncomfortable, and most likely some of those close to me as well. My goal is for you to be able to read, watch or hear what I’ve struggled with & learned and to use it in some way that is beneficial to yourself.
The Truth Series Journals will consist of several different personal topics that are all inter-connected in some way. I am trying to find out who I am, who my spirit is, and what it is that I need to accomplish in this lifetime. I feel an overwhelming need to share these experiences with you. I have been suppressing this feeling of sharing for a while because putting myself out there is HARD and scary. I have decided to do this now because I’m over this feeling of self-pity and paralysis. This is my first outward step in a different direction from nutrition.
Let me start by saying that I am still early on in my journey to my core (who I really am- you’ll hear me call this a few different things that I’ll use interchangeably because I get bored pretty easily) and this is by no means a how-to guide because I am how-to’ing myself and just want to start writing it down and getting it out there in case you can relate and learn a thing or to about your own journey.
The truth has always been something I can relate to because it is not politically correct. The truth is kooky! It is unusual, its scary, humorous, sexy even… but really – the truth is so familiar because it is the only way I can relate to other people. I love it when someone else has completely stripped themselves of who they think they are and leave themselves unprocessed, rough, and organic to the core. This core is what we can identify with – its like ripping off the blanket and although we are cold and don’t feel protected, we are also able to allow someone to get close and make that skin to skin contact that will protect us. It may be a weird analogy but it came to mind first!
That intimate connection and relationship to other people is what I love, I need it to feel like I am living and moving forward. Without feeling connected I am lost, off my path, and depressed.I’ve always known I wanted to work with people; I’ve always been interested in getting to know people and am so curious about their lives. So perhaps being intrigued by other people is my way to understand my own life.
Many of the truths I am going to share aren’t what I have portrayed on social media because social media is usually a place where I post things that are really positive in my life and not where I want to talk about all my struggles. BUT I hope to change this over the process so that my social media accounts represent who I genuinely am and what I am going through as a real person and not just the shiny parts of my life. Many of you that know me might not know about these struggles but these are things I want to talk about because they are part of me and I have learned so much from each of them!
How does this relate to a “Clean Will Of Health” or rather my health coaching business? This is a large part of why I remained in paralysis for so long (having too many ideas and not knowing how to start). Once deciding that I was going to make a career out of helping people heal their body’s ailments just as I had done myself (get the scoop here) I went to school to train how to become a health coach and embarked on a new and scary journey of being an entrepreneur. This took a LOT of effort for me to step out of my comfortable bubble and do something different – create a website, market myself, do the work, etc. While I do enjoy helping people make healthier food choices and notice a difference in how they feel and look, I also want more and know I am capable of more.
I want to reach people on a soul to soul level to make extreme change possible.
How am I going to do this?? NO IDEA how I’m going to do this and that has been difficult. Trying to rationalize that this “soul to soul” thing relates to my current health coaching business and the detox groups I run has been mind-numbing. Because of this internal and ongoing struggle, I have been torn between being marketing myself as a health coach and aligning myself with what I really need to do. I need to find and be my authentic true self.
Health and nutrition has provided a wonderful and NEEDED foundation that I will use for the rest of my life. I am aware that figuring out who I am is related to health on several levels but I don’t know how to bridge that gap yet. I have faith I am going to though ;). I am ready for my path to do more zig-zagging now!!
My soul is yearning for me to speak the truth about my struggles in an effort to bring some of us together. I have been silencing this part of my soul for so long that it is now time to spit it all out and be vulnerable. Because I want to keep my emotions raw and unadulterated, I don’t want to edit my truth series very much. So if I miss a few grammatical things, let them go – because I have too!
I hope to provide my thoughts, feelings, trials, errors, fears, frustrations, accomplishments, successes to you along the way. These will come in the form of my #TruthSeries Journals which will be written or recorded via video/audio, etc.
PLEASE NOTE: As I go deeper into this journey, I am still making myself available for a limited number of personal coaching clients so please message me if you want to have me coach you through PCOS, burnout, simple nutrition, digestion issues, incorporating more vegetables, loving yourself, hormone stuff, and baby steps to a more sustainable and healthy life! These are all things I have personal experience with and am happy to help you with and share about.
In TRUTH & LOVE,